The Dapper Black
Online, I typically view someone’s profile and hang on until they see that I’ve seen it and allow them to message me first. However, when I come across a specimen, nothing can stop me from initiating. Shoooo. Such is the case with Young Dapper, an absolutely stunning man in a tailored suit with soft brown skin, light eyes and height that makes my lip curl in a good way. I’m thinking, “yaaaaas.”
We have some playful banter and within the first night of talking, he asks me to see a movie in downtown Brooklyn later that week. Advance notice, taking initiative, likes movies … #winning. I’m looking good; very casual New Yorker day-date attire matched with a heel because he’s a luscious 6’4″. We hug outside the theater and head instead where I’m leading (shocker) and we come to a fork in the road. Left to self-service or right to humans. I go left and try to finagle my body behind his so he can go first, yet it doesn’t quite work and here we are, staring at the self-service kiosk. Too much of a pause goes by and I step up to pay for myself and he sidled next to me to pay for himself. Fine.
We are late for the movie and have to sit in the f*****g front row. What am I supposed to do up there? Fine. I think, at least we’ll have dinner after this and get to vibe.
The movie is over and we lightly discuss. It’s still light outside, but I’m hangry so I think, he asked me for a date at this time on a Saturday because we’re going out to eat. Obviously.
“So what do you plan on doing with your night?”
“Uhmmmm, I thought we’d be grabbing dinner?”
“Oh, right, food. Well, I know this sounds weird, but I was going to head back to work actually. I’m only a few stops from here and I’m a new ad-man from Ohio, I want to get ahead you know?”
“Well, there’s Shake Shack over there…want to go there?”
“I definitely don’t need pity dinner HAHA. It’s cool, go to work and I’ll see you around.”
“No, let’s go. I am actually hungry.”
He grabs my arm and leads me to Shake Shack, where again, we pay for our own meals. Then I’m asked inane questions about getting ahead professionally and why I’d want a relationship in this city.
BYE. So, so sad, but goodbye Young Dapper.
The New Hoboken
Last one…for now.
Hoboken seems to now be a cesspool of young, attractive bros that have a penchant for meeting girls, leading them nowhere, and ghosting. So, I came across an interesting looking, tall white drink of water that needed my initiation. We chat a bit and exchange some well thought out texts when it falters due to his job being in the busiest season. Fine. We resume conversation months later and it’s looking promising. He visits me at my apartment and tolerates my love of Sex and The City without complaint, provides some deep tissue neck massaging and nicely sensual goodbye. Luscious. Couldn’t be a more perfect set of weeks … considering what I’d been dealing with.
Since he lives in Hoboken, which isn’t far via car (but expensive), I take him up on his (last-minute) invite to his spot. I walk from the Path station and he meets me halfway from his apartment and we walk along the water. First holding hands, then puts his arm around my shoulders and holds him. I look into those blue eyes, capped with a Supreme hat sitting atop his 6’5″ frame and I’m like, yas bitch, you finally got there.
Y’all should know better by now.
He warns me that his roomies/best friends are all home watching the game so be ready to take some heat. Not a problem, my homies in college were primarily male athletes, we good! So we sit on the loveseat with my toes under his thighs as he gets into the game, I answer questions from the friends, etc etc. It’s a slumber party, so put together the missing pieces here, but I have to wake up EXTRA early in order to get to work in Staten Island. (Never, ever doing this shit again). So I walk thirteen blocks to the Path, take the N to Bay Ridge, take the R further into Bay Ridge and take the bus to work with time to spare.
He texts to ensure I’m safe, I’m smiling, it’s a good Monday. Now it’s Friday and I’m over being demure, so I hit him up asking if he has free time this weekend. Long story short, that was four months ago and I’m glad I didn’t hold my breath in this bih!
GHOSTING IS AN EPIDEMIC! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!